I moved to San Antonio the summer of 1988. My mom stepdad and brother were here. My mom and stepdad managed mobile home parks. They were running a park in N military dr. I had a rough relationship with my mom as most teenage girls do. I started my senior year of high school at John jay high school. This is where I met my first husband Jason. We had a group of friends called the brew crew. Hopefully on this trip I will get to visit one of the guys this trip. Stay tuned for that ☺️. But back to high school… we all used to party at either my house or Jason’s house. We had some great times. I graduated by some miracle in 89. I went thru some rough patches after this. Me and Jason broke up. I ended up dating another guy which ended with me trying to kill myself. I spent a week in a hospital. When I got out I ended up having a huge fight with my mom and I left and went and lived with my best friend Kristen and her family….
So before I tell my story about my ex husband. I will go back a bit further into my life and tell that first. The reason is because we are heading to San Antonio today and I will be exactly where this part of my life happened. I’m excited to go. My oldest son lives there and we are spending thanksgiving there. So I will be writing a lot the next few days.
So I recently did a reading for myself. The main thing I got from it was that there is a huge part of my past I need to let go of. I think I have but then this card slapped me in the face. My most recent husband and I had a very terrible end to something I thought was finally my forever. I was told through that reading that I needed to tell the story of that part of my life. At least enough of it to speak my heart and by doing so to release it one session at a time. im not sure how it will go but I will begin and see how far I can get. And hopefully find the closure I need.
So as I am preparing for the new moon I find a new moon meditation on Kali. I turn it on and pull my oracle cards to pull one for tonight as I am learning them. Out of the deck I pull … you guessed it Kali. So now I need to go do some study and meditation on her meanings. Nothing happens by chance, so this is definitely a sign.
So Grace is my youngest child out of 5. She turned 18 this year, graduated from high school and joined the army. She graduated basic in September and is in school for linguistics in Monterey Ca. Today, she had her tonsils removed. Surgery. By herself. My poor girl. She is fine of course but I hate that I can’t be there to take care of her. She called like 5 times and I love that. As her mom I am sooo thankful for the relationship we have in spite of all the challenges we have endured and all the mistakes I made. I am so glad that I have the opportunity to have her love. Through addiction toxic marriages and legal issues she continues to love me. I know this is because I made changes. Removed negativity and put in the work to be a better person. If you are struggling in any area of your life you can change and fix things. It’s never too late. You just have to believe that you are good enough and find the things that give you peace. Don’t ever give up on yourself. You are all you have. And let me tell you that is enough. More than enough. 🥰
Month 11 of this crazy year. This month I want to focus on the present, the now. Everyone is in such a hurry to get this year over with in hopes that next year will be better. Instead of waiting for better can’t we just stop and find the good things that are all around us right now. Yes it’s been a challenging year. But if you take a moment I bet you can find 10 things out of the past 10 months that have been amazing. Let’s try…1. My boyfriend Rob. We made our 1 year and I’m grateful to have him in my life. 2. My kids are all doing amazing for themselves. All 5 are successful and are growing up to be awesome people. 3. I got a new job that I love and I make more money. 4. I bought a new car all by myself!!!! 5. I completed my probation and am free. Huge accomplishment. 6. We survived the hurricanes and covid with no serious repercussions. 7. Went to Renaissance, the place I love and started new traditions. 8. I’ve made some new friends whom I treasure and healed old relationships and have peace with myself. 9. My health is good no issues. 10. I’ve grown in my spirituality and have begun new divinations and feel empowered to move on to higher levels of oneness with nature. See that wasn’t too hard. Now you try…