This post is about crawling out of the depths of despair and literally starting over. It will be the first of a few parts. I want to share the last 6 years of my journey. Six years ago I was married and lived in a house on Anacoco lake that we had done a rent to own agreement on. It was a beautiful house. Well it had been until we decided that smoking meth was a “great idea”. We had 2 of my kids living with us and my brother and whoever else decided to crash. We had a big house apartment in the back yard and a terrible addiction to meth. At this point we had been on it for almost 2 years and slowly our marriage and life both started falling apart. Without going into the horrific details all I can say is it was a horrible time. I literally thought about and sometimes actively tried to commit suicide daily. On September 27 2016 my life would finally crumble to pieces. I was arrested for possession of schedule ll, paraphernalia and schedule l. This was also my birthday. 45 years old. WTF. I was in jail for 37 days. While I was there my oldest daughter took the younger 2 kids and all but 2 of my pets to new homes. We received a 5 day eviction notice for being behind on the house payment. She got as much as she could from the house but couldn’t take much. She was my true hero during this time. My husband had left and everything we had was gone. Cars repossessed home lost along with the $40,000.00 we had paid into the house. While I was in jail I did a lot of soul searching and made plans for how things would be different when I got out. On November 3rd I think I finally got out. I had literally 10 boxes of stuff to my name. I went to live with my kids in an apartment. Nothing would work out like I planned and dreamed it would. Stay tuned for part 2.